Turk February

From OAPedia.com

Turk February[1] is a character that Jim Norton, on March 31, 2010, claimed he created for a story he was writing, called "Chemical Warfare vs. ...". He is a man of international intrigue, mystery and danger who fights chemical warfare. According to Jim Norton, he has prosthetic ears (to hide things in), wears shark-skin suits, has cankles, and can talk his way out of a situation 40% of the time. He has a sketch artist with him at all time.

The tagline of Turk's movie is: "Turk February - Packs a Punch Like Nobody's Business"

Turk is trying to catch the man who murdered his parents. His love interest is a small child he's trying to seduce with a Pez dispenser with Vicodin. His arch-nemesis is Fbi (not the FBI, the person's name is Fbi). His partner, Bill Tuttleberry, was hospitalized for tetanus, that he got from a nail going through his tennis shoe.