News Teases

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News Teases are commercials for upcoming news broadcasts that are often sensationalist and meant to scare viewers into watching the news. They usually involve a vague description about a common, everyday item causing unspeakable harm (often using the catchphrase "hidden danger"), or a deadly threat such as terrorism or a natural disaster that may affect you. Yet the news story itself almost always describes a one-in-a-million occurrence or something that can't possibly affect the people watching.

Opie and Anthony have turned these news teases into a bit where they play the most outrageous ones they can find. They have also taken the best ones and put them into a News Tease Hall of Fame. The Hall of Fame includes teases such as:

  • "One city wants to pack all their sex offenders into a three block area. Problem is, it could be right next to your house."
  • "How a twist on the predator law could shut down religion."
  • "Could frequent hiccups be a sign of cancer? Watch News 8 at 10."
  • "Are you normal?"
  • "Could your house be making you fat?"
  • "Sex offenders may be in your house. At 11."
  • "And the ingredients in shampoo that could make a boy develop breasts."
  • "Sexual predators sent to live in our nursing homes... Could this happen to your mother?"
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