Church of Opie
From OAPedia.com
http://www.churchofopie.com (Dead link, the church has been closed)
A kind of odd (ok creepy) tribute site (with forum) that praises Opie as the "One".
From the site...
Church of Opie 101: A general guide The Church of Opie traces its history to the early 21st century. We believe that Gregg "Opie" Hughes is the creator of the universe, and worship him as our Lord and Saviour. Worshippers of Opie refer to themselves as "Opitarians".
Why Opie?
That's a silly question. All one has to do is to look at Opie to realize that He has always been within our hearts. Opie surrounds us, yet He is within us because He is the creator and master of this universe.
The Commandments
The commandments were not given to us by Opie Himself, but handed down by the Church Council. They are a set of guidelines by which to lead an Opie-like lifestyle. Because these are rules made by mere mortals, who unlike Opie are imperfect by their very nature, the rules may be changed at any time.
I. Thou shalt subscribe to XM Satellite Radio.
II. Thou shalt imbibe one cup of yogurt (AKA "The Blood of Opie") every morning at 9 AM, lest your blood sugar become too low.
III. Thou shalt fidget incessantly.
IV. Thou shalt dress as the Lord on religious holidays.
V. Thou shalt Inline Skate.
VI. Thou shalt seek to perfect "The Psycho Factor", in the image of our Lord.
The Saints
The Saints are those who accompany Opie on His Show. The Lord's vision has allowed the Saints to become prosperous and through His love He has transformed them into Saints.
The first Saint is Saint Anthony. He achieved Sainthood by helping Opie to achieve His vision. Saint Anthony joined Opie on His show, to form the "Opie and anthony Show" (Opitarians write "anthony" in lowercase when referring to the "Opie and anthony Show", as recognition of Opie's vision). With the addition of Saint Anthony, the "Opie and anthony Show" became the vessel that brought Opie into the public eye, and into our hearts.
The second and final Saint so far is Saint Norton. He achieved his Sainthood by being let into the "inner sanctum" on the Opie and anthony show. He is allowed to sit in on every sermon if he so pleases, without running the risk of wearing out his welcome. Since Opie has accepted him into his heart, so shall we accept him into ours. MONSTER RAAAIN! RITE LIL JIMMY? ROFL
What is the "Psycho Factor?"
Worshippers of Opie work to perfect the "Psycho Factor." Put simply, the Psycho Factor is a representation of Opie's ability to "snap" at people. It is not an attractive social trait, and as such, is best practiced behind closed doors with other Opitarians. When the Psycho Factor is used amongst non-believers, you run the risk of looking like a dick.
Why do all of these women around the Church have the last name of "Huber"?
When a woman becomes a holy woman within the Church, she changes her last name to Huber, to acknowledge that she is now the Lord's Bitch. "John Huber" is a pseudonym that our Lord uses from time to time. Why "Huber" and not "Hughes?" When asked this question, the famous holy woman Helen Huber once replied, "Why does the rooster peck the eyes of a duck?" The student who had asked the question proceeded to nod knowingly, as if what she had just said had made sense. Decades later on his deathbed, we assume that the student gained some sort of universal truth or something. In all honesty, we have no clue. Cool concept though, right?
In the words of Saint Thrower of Steve "Inline skate in peace"
